hit and run :: essays research papers

Its standardized Im dead. But Im not, I adjudicate Im notwithstanding dead to my surroundings or every angiotensin-converting enzyme is just trying to make me feel that way. I walk through the crowed halls at my school, no one turns a head word, no one smiles, its interchangeable Im walking through a bunch of ghosts, or am I really the ghost? There are so many questions that I try to answer in the back of my head while Im taking these steps to home room. Everyone unremarkably feels sorry for the person who has no friends or is considered a freak. Not in my case, no one ever talks to me, so I neer talk to them. I am what you would consider a nobody, a freak, a loner. Yet really Im none of those, because no one until now knows my name. People call it the New Year, a new yr to change amours you dont like about yourself. Yet its really hard for me to do that, because I dont plane think I know myself. All I know is that I go to school get good grades, except in math, drift cro ss country, go home, wash my hands, do my homework, and lay in bed, I never actually fall asleep. My parents say I have a problem, a mental one. I say its because Im related to them. Theyll never understand me, and Ill never understand them, thats just the way its going to be. They have to deal with it, even if they say they cant. JANUARY 2, 2007 Im hesitating. I cant feel a thing. I took something this morning. I cant submit a soul, even though there is no one to tell. I look down the hall to first period. Seems like theres three miles between me and the door, like Im running a race. Breath I tell myself, just breath, stop thinking, just breath. Ive made it, to my destination, if you call it a destination in itself. The school twenty-four hour period is such a blur to me, nothing merely interesting. Same thing everyday, no one speaks to me, no one looks at me, nothing. My eyes combat injury Im staring too hard at something, or someone in that matter. The only good thing about b eing ignored is that you can do stuff and people wont notice but if you were normal, people would notice in a minute.